Beauty and the Elf
by justasec
Summary: PARODY Ginny goes down to the kitchen one night, only to come face to face with who might be her true love. GinnyDobby
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: We wish it were ours, but its not. None of it.

Warning: This fic is purely a parody, do NOT take it seriously! It was written as a request for a friend.

Authors: Sarcasmislove and GlamourandGlitz

Title: The Beauty and the Elf

Rating: T

Summary: Ginny goes down to the kitchen one night, only to come face to face with who might be her true love. Ginny/Dobby

Flashback

Ginny Weasley giggled loudly, her red ponytail swinging from side to side, at the latest of Parvati Patil's antics. The two girls were sitting Indian style on the floor of the Gryffindor girl's dormitory in the middle of a circle of sleeping bags and pillows, along with Hermione Granger, Lavender Brown, Susan Bones, Padma Patil, and Luna Lovegood. It had been a tradition for the past four years now, a sleepover on the Friday before term ended. The girls usually sat around and gossiped until well after midnight when sleep would take them. This year was no exception. Padma smiled shyly at Lavender, 'So, Lav, how's Ron?"

Lavender began to giggle ceaselessly and Ginny blushed. That was her prat of a brother they were talking about and she would be damned if they thought she was going to sit around and hear about Ron having a romantic relationship, that was… well, beyond disturbing! So, she pushed herself up onto her knees and stood up. "I'm a little hungry, so I think I'm going to get us some snacks from the kitchen, anyone want to come with me?"

The other girls seemed to either not have heard her, or were ignoring her, so she headed down to the kitchens alone. She turned the corner, tickled the pear, and entered the kitchen. Harry's elf, Dobby greeted her. And with a lop-sided grin asked "Hello, miss, what can I get for you?"

Ginny smiled, she had always found the elf quite comical, "Oh, I don't know, some snack foods for a sleepover that I'm having upstairs."

Dobby nodded and scurried off to return moments later with a tray of food. "I hope miss will have a fun night."

She smiled and nodded at him before heading upstairs.

end flashback

It had been weeks since Ginny had first seen Dobby in the kitchens, and for the life of her, she couldn't get the amusing little elf off her mind.

"Hey, Ginny!"

She looked up from her dinner. "Hi, Hermione."

Her studious friend sat down next to her, her face flushed with excitement, and her hair in disarray. "Come back from snogging with Draco, have you?"

"Shhh! Don't tell the boys. Even though they know I'm with him, Ron practically blows a blood vessel every time he hears his name."

"Yeah, I know. Listen, Hermione, could I ask you something? It's kind of private."

She immediately looked concerned. "Sure, what is it?"

Ginny took a deep breath and looked around to see if anyone was listening. "Have you ever heard of wizarding relationships between two…non-wizards?"

She gave her a strange look. "What do you mean? There have been plenty of wizards that marry Muggles, Ginny, you know that."

Ginny's eyes widened. "No, I meant…non-humans."

She wrinkled her brow in thought. "Well, sure, I guess. There have been instances of vampire and wizard relationships, and I'm fairly certain I once read something about a centaur and a…giant, I think. Why?"

"Er, no reason. I was just curious."

Hermione frowned. "Ginny, you can talk to me, you know that. What's really wrong?"

"It's really embarrassing…you know our sleepover last month? When I went down to the kitchens?"

"Sure, you said you saw Dobby…" Her eyes widened with realization. "Oh, Ginny! You…and…Dobby? Is that why you asked me those things?"

Ginny miserably nodded. "I can't get him out of my head, Hermione, I don't know what to do, I know it's wrong, but I can't change how I feel!"

Hermione wrapped her arms around her friend and squeezed. "Shhh, it's okay, Ginny. It's not wrong…"

"Do you think I should go see him?"

Hermione broke their embrace and smirked at her bemused friend. "That _is_ what you want to do, isn't it?"

Ginny stared at the floor and blushed crimson. Hermione poked her in the arm. "Well, isn't it?"

Ginny sighed and got to her feet, "As usual, Hermione, you're right."

She risked a glance at Harry. If he saw her leave, he might ask questions, and now was definitely not the time for that. Luckily, Harry was still stuffing food down his throat along with Ron, so the coast was clear. She got up and quickly left the hall. She arrived moments later, feeling anxious. She hadn't even noticed, but she had been so eager to see Dobby that she had skipped half the way there. She tickled the pear and a wave of some emotion that she couldn't place washed over her. She hesitantly stepped into the kitchens to find five or six house elves sitting at a table. Dobby was one of them. Dobby stood up. "Hello again, Miss. What can Dobby help you with?"

Ginny stared at her feet, "Oh, I don't need anything. I just wanted to, well, talk to you."

"Well, Miss is Harry Potter's special friend, and Dobby would do anything to help the people close to Harry Potter. What did you want to talk to Dobby about?" She was mortified. Harry Potter's _special _friend. This whole situation was just so _wrong_. She needed to break up with Harry before anything could happen here. It just wouldn't be right to lead Harry on.

"Well… erm. I just thought it was really nice talking to you the other day and I thought maybe we could be, well, friends." _Friends. _She had just asked Dobby to be her _friend_. Yes, she did want to break up with Harry before pursuing a relationship, but, _friends? _Merlin, what was wrong with her? Friendship was quite possibly the _farthest_ thing from her mind, yet, somehow, her inhibitions for a romance had taken control.

Dobby grinned at her. He was just _too_ adorable, she decided as he nodded. His big blue eyes seemed to twinkle with happiness as he pulled two elven size chairs over to where she stood. "Sit. Dobby would enjoy talking to you very much."

Ginny hesitantly sat and the awkwardness commenced. She had _never_ carried on a conversation with a house elf before, and dealing with one that she actually cared about was even more difficult. Their small talk carried on for a good 20 minutes, eventually budding into a real discussion. Nearly an hour after she arrived, Ginny realised that the other students would probably notice if she wasn't up in the common room soon. She smiled at the elf. "Listen, Dobby, I _really_ enjoyed talking to you, but I've got to get upstairs. We definitely need to talk more often. You can stop by the Gryffindor common room any time you'd like, to talk, ok?"

Dobby nodded and smiled, "Dobby enjoyed the company very much. Please tell Harry Potter I said hello!"

Harry. She had _almost_ forgotten that she was still currently dating him. She was _dating_ Harry Potter, the most popular wizard at Hogwarts. Well, she mentally corrected herself, that title probably actually belonged to Draco Malfoy, but, regardless, Harry was quite popular, and if (no, she corrected herself again, _when) _she broke up with him, she would certainly undergo weeks of torment by her peers for feeling she was too good for _Harry Potter_. People would never approve if she had a relationship with Dobby, but she wasn't really happy with Harry either. He was minimally attentive and, especially when he was with Ron, could be absolutely _infuriating._ She bit her lip as she headed up the stairs to the common room. Where would she go from here?

By: Sarcasmislove and Glamourandglitz

Reviews are love


	2. Chapter 2

DiSCLAiMER: Only this incredibly unique plot belongs to us.

* * *

As she stepped through the portrait, Hermione immediately noticed and waved her over to where she sat alone by the fire. "Hey, Ginny!"

Ginny sank into a cushy armchair. "Hi, Hermione."

Hermione set down the book she had been reading and looked at her friend. "How did it go?"

She sighed. "I can't believe you're so understanding, Hermione. I mean, this is a rather strange situation and you're acting as if everything is completely normal."

Her friend shrugged. "Draco and I were totally unexpected, weren't we? But I've never been happier. No one said love was predictable, and I'd like to think I know a thing or two about maintaining impossible relationships."

Ginny smiled. It was the truth. No one had seen their relationship coming, and it baffled many students at Hogwarts. "You're right, Hermione. But I need to talk to Harry. I can't string him along, you know? Where is he?"

"He and Ron are playing Quiddich, I think. They should be coming back in a few minutes."

She wrung her hands together. "I don't want him to hate me, Hermione!"

"That's not possible, Ginny. Harry would never hate you."

"Oh, I feel so bad!"

"You can't help the way you feel." Hermione looked up as the portrait opened and Harry and Ron walked in. "I'll get Ron out of here. Good luck, Ginny."

Ginny paled as Harry walked closer and nodded to her friend. She heard Hermione say something about a book that would help Ron in Charms and they left the common room to go the library.

Harry bent down and kissed Ginny on the cheek. "Hey, Gin."

She paled even further and sat down, then stood up. "Hi, Harry."

He wrinkled his brow. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes. I mean, no. Well, yes. We need to talk."

"Sure, Gin. What's this about?"

Ginny looked at the ground nervously. "I can't be with you anymore, Harry."

"What?"

"I…I'm in love with someone else and I don't think it's fair to either of us if my heart isn't totally in this."

Harry was gaping at her in disbelief. "You want to break up?"

She looked up at him and met his gaze firmly. "Yes."

I…I don't really know what to say, Ginny. I mean…I don't know. Can I just…I need to think about this."

She swallowed. "Sure, Harry. I'll leave you alone."

She practically ran out of the common room and made her way to the library where she knew Hermione would undoubtedly be.

As she walked in, she spotted her bushy-haired friend right away. Apparently some book on the Chudley Cannons had distracted Ron because he was on the other side of the library.

She walked over to Hermione, but before she could say anything, Draco Malfoy had taken the seat across from his girlfriend and they quietly began to talk about something or the other. Hermione looked up from the

conversation to see Ginny's retreating back. "Oh, hang on a second, Draco, I'll be right back."

"Sure, Granger."

"Ginny!"

Ginny turned around to see Hermione quickly walking towards her. "How'd it go?"

She frowned. "Bad, how else? He's so sad, Hermione."

"He'll be all right, Ginny. Believe me. As long as he sees that you're happy, he'll be fine. I promise. You can't expect him to be fine with it right away, though!"

Ginny sighed. "I know. It's still hard, though. Even harder when Dobby is always on my mind."

Hermione smiled sympathetically. "Do you want to sit with me and Draco for a while? We're discussing Potions."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "You two were made for each other. It's amazing that a boy with such good looks is so boring."

"He is not boring, Ginny Weasley!" Hermione sniffed. "We're just both very dedicated to our schoolwork."

Ginny raised a brow. "And I'm sure that's all you're dedicated to, Hermione. You look like you've just been thoroughly snogged."

Hermione blushed darkly. "Well, maybe we did spend some time in the History of Magic section before you got here."

Ginny grinned. "I'll leave you two alone, then. Shall I take Ron with me?"

She brightened. "Could you? That would be wonderful."

Ginny just shook her head and walked over to her brother. "Ron, let's go. Hermione wants to spend some time with Draco."

Ron's fists immediately clenched and he growled. "Bloody git. I hate him."

"But Hermione doesn't so let's go before they combine their powers and hex you to bits. Merlin knows you can't take either of them on."

Ron's jaw dropped, and Ginny took that opportunity to grab his arm and drag him out of the library. She winked at Hermione on her way out. "Ron, you need to leave them alone. Malfoy's been nothing but civil towards all of us since the end of the war and Hermione loves him."

His shoulders slumped. "I guess you're right. I'm going to head back to the common room. You coming?"

"No, I think I'm going to head down to the kitchens. I'm suddenly ravenous."

Ron smiled at her before turning around and heading in the direction of the Gryffindor common room.

Ginny came to a halt in front of the portrait that was becoming more and more familiar by the day. What was she going to say? Was now _really_ the best time to tell Dobby the truth? This whole situation was just so complicated! She decided that it was best to get it all off her chest right now, and straightened her skirt before entering the kitchens. What greeted her completely shocked her.

Harry was sitting in a corner, numerous empty butterbeer bottles littering the ground near his feet. He shot a lopsided grin at her. "Hey (hic) Gin'. Why… whyareyou here?" he slurred.

Ginny's original agenda flew out of her mind. Could this day get any worse? "Oh, I… You see, I… was just looking for you. And… well, I found you!"

Harry smiled again, "I'm glad. So, why did you break up with me, Ginny? Why? (hic) Who is it that is just sooooo much betterthanme?"

Ginny bit her lip and Dobby appeared at the door with a few bottles of potion to sober Harry up. She blushed furiously. Speak of the devil. "Oh, I don't think now is the time."

Harry dropped his bottle of butterbeer and shot another lopsided grin at her "No, Ginny, I think now is the perfect time." He was greeted with silence. "Damn it, who is he?"

Ginny didn't respond. She bit her lip and sighed.

Harry finally ended the silence. "I'm sorry Gin, you're right, now isn't the time." He took a long pause. "I'm sorry if I scared you, we can talk about it later."

Ginny nodded and offered him her hand. "Up you get. Let's get back to the dormitories."

The moment she arrived in the common room, Ginny called for Ron and Hermione to help her get Harry to his bed. They rushed to her aid, and moments later he was fast asleep.

Ginny sank into a chair in the now abandoned common room and glanced at the clock. 12:35. It really was getting late, and she'd had a very rough day, maybe it was time to just get some sleep and worry about her romantic problems tomorrow. But no, fate apparently had other plans. There, in the middle of the common room stood Dobby, broom in hand. He muttered a spell and it began sweeping through the common room. He shot a questioning smile at her. "Miss Ginny, I know it isn't my place, but why did you hurt Harry Potter's feelings?"

Ginny frowned. This wasn't awkward _at all_. "I didn't mean to hurt him, its just, well, there's someone else and… I didn't want to lead Harry on, you know?"

Dobby nodded, "Yes. I think I know how you feel." He paused. "Dobby feels so very bad for Harry Potter, but hopes that you will find your true love, Miss Ginny"

Ginny nodded and a tear slid down her cheek. Dobby frowned at her, "What's wrong, Ginny?"

Ginny took a deep breath, this was it, there would be no going back after this moment, everything would change, forever. She nervously wrung her hands together and took in another deep breath before letting the truth spill out. "It's you. The other guy, the reason I broke up with Harry… it's you. Since that day in the kitchens… it's been you."

She risked a glance at Dobby who looked thoroughly confused. She faked a smile and whispered through the tears that were now cascading down her cheeks, "Its ok, you don't need to say anything, I get it." And with that, she fled from the room.

Dobby stood still in the common room, a bewildered look on his face. He shook his head. "What did Miss Ginny mean? She likes Dobby instead of Harry Potter?"

His eyes widened. "Miss Ginny thinks Dobby is her one true love!"

As Dobby was figuring out Ginny's confession, the girl in question was sitting quietly on her bed, crying softly. She wanted badly to speak to Hermione, but as she was in a year below her friend, they were in different rooms. Still sniffing and with all her clothes on, she rested her head on the pillow and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

Dobby, still in a state of shock and confusion, went down to the kitchens as soon as the common room was clean and mechanically helped the other house elves prepare breakfast for a while before heading to his elf-sized bed. He turned on his side and quickly fell asleep.

When Ginny woke up the next morning, the first thing she noticed was that she still had her uniform on. She was confused for a moment, before remembering just what had taken place the night before and immediately felt tears welling in her eyes. She forced herself to stop and went into the bathroom to shower and change.

As she walked to the Great Hall for breakfast, she wondered how she would confront Harry, who would undoubtedly be sitting in his usual place. She decided not to think about it and instead strode confidently into the Great Hall and sat in her usual place next to Hermione, who looked up at her, startled by the sudden movement. "Hi, Ginny."

She gave her a small smile. "Hi, Hermione."

Her intuitive friend immediately sensed that something was wrong, and before Ginny knew it, she was being whisked away from the Gryffindor table and taken outside the Great Hall. Hermione turned to face her. "What happened, Gin?"

Ginny tried to keep calm, but failed and started crying softly. "I…I…I told him!"

Hermione immediately embraced her and let her cry it out. "And he just stood there! Like….I don't even know, Hermione, I'm so stupid to think that it could have actually worked!"

Hermione let go of her friend and held her out at arm's length. "Ginny, you're not stupid. He probably just stood there because he didn't know what you meant! He's not used to getting confessions of love from well…humans! You should talk to him again."

Ginny looked down at the ground. "I don't know why I didn't think of that. I…I'm going to go talk to him right now."

Ginny immediately got up and made her way to the kitchen, but was sidetracked by Blaise Zabini in the hallway. "Weasley, what are you up to?"

She shot him a glare. When Hermione and Draco's relationship had gone public, Ginny and Blaise had been the first to know. She had grown accustomed to Blaise, and the two had slowly become friends. "None of your business, Zabini."

"You just keep getting stranger. Seriously though, I hear you broke poor little Potter's heart, what's that all about?"

She frowned. "Zabini, honestly, it's not really your business! I just… I found someone else, and it wouldn't be fair to Harry to lead him on, you know? I just… don't love Harry." She paused. "Oh, and by the way, I'll hex you into next week if you mention any part of this conversation to anyone."

He smirked. "Ok, Weasley, no need to get hostile…off you go then."

She finally arrived at the kitchen, and this time didn't even hesitate at the door. She entered and found Dobby alone preparing a dessert for dinner that night. His back was still turned to her and she guessed that she hadn't heard her come in. She immediately felt her face flush as she grinned at him. "Hi Dobby."

At the sound of her voice, he dropped the tray he was holding. "Miss Ginny? What are you doing here? Dobby thought you were upset with him."

She frowned. "I wasn't upset, I was just scared. I understand that you might be uncomfortable with my feelings for you…"

He cut her off. "I wasn't uncomfortable, I was just… well, surprised. No one has ever told me that they cared about me before. I'm sorry if I upset you Ginny, but Dobby was confused."

"So… What does that mean?"

Dobby smirked. "It means, Ginny, that Dobby is very happy that you care about him."

Ginny thought she may die of happiness at that exact moment. This was a dream come true! She had found someone that she cared about, and he actually returned her feelings! No one would ever accept them, which much was obvious, but somehow everyone else didn't matter. The only other person that mattered was Dobby, and he cared about her too. She smiled widely. "Seriously? You don't think I'm crazy or something?"

"Crazy? Never."

She skipped over to him and caught him in a hug, overcome with emotion. She kissed his cheek and laughed. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

* * *

Feedback is always appreciated!

-glamourandglitz

-sarcasmislove


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